


Kaleidoscope

by Choi Eimi (Siyah_Kedi)



Series: Turn Up The Bright Lights [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, HunHan - Freeform, M/M, Romance, sarangverse, third in a trilogy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 19:40:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siyah_Kedi/pseuds/Choi%20Eimi
Summary: Third part of the TUtBL "sarangverse."





	1. Chapter 1

After the debacle on the cruise ship, the boys were gathered around waiting to talk to the managers.  Chanyeol surprised everyone by immediately requesting a private discussion.  When he came out and sent in Kris and Suho, Sehun could barely contain his curiousity.  Finally, when Luhan went in, Sehun felt sure he was going to outright explode. 

 

It was just a short time later that Luhan came out of the office, beaming with happiness.  He settled next to Sehun, but shushed him and promised to explain what went on later.  Sehun caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye and realised Chanyeol and Kris were looking at each other with strange expressions on their faces, but he was so happy to have Luhan beside him that he put it out of his mind a moment later. 

 

*

 

“So… you’re staying here for six months?” Sehun asked.  He could barely believe what he was hearing.  Baekhyun got up without a word and shut himself in his bedroom.  Sehun realised what Luhan coming to stay with Exo-K actually _meant_ , and decided it probably had something to do with what went down on the cruise.  It dampened his good mood more than a little bit, to know Baekhyun was probably crying by himself in the empty room – Chanyeol had gone back to Exo-M’s dorm, and they’d be leaving for China in just a day or two – but he didn’t think there was anything he could do about it. 

 

“I sure am,” Luhan said, cheerfully.  “This should be a lot of fun!”

 

Suho moved into the room with Baekhyun, both to give Luhan and Sehun a chance to be together, and to keep an eye on Baekhyun, who seemed to be spiraling into a quiet depression.  Kris and Tao helped to bring all of Luhan’s things over from M’s dorm into K’s, and took Chanyeol’s stuff with him when he left.  After helping Luhan unpack, Sehun flopped down on his bed and just rolled back and forth, unable to contain his happiness.  When Luhan settled onto Suho’s bed, he bounced a little bit and then laid back. 

 

“Man, what a mess that cruise turned out to be,” he said.  Sehun sat up.

 

“Did you really understand what happened between Chanyeol and Baekhyun?” 

 

Luhan looked thoughtful, and then shook his head silently.  “I wish I knew.  I didn’t know anything was going on, and then suddenly they were fighting about something.  It seems like they’re always fighting.  How can you stand living with them like that?”

 

Sehun shrugged.  “I just let them work it out themselves.  They love each other a lot, but it also means that they know a lot of ways to hurt each other when they get mad.  And they’ve  both got bad tempers, but their fights usually don’t last that long.  Honestly, I’m kinda worried about Chanyeol, going all the way to China for six months.  How do you feel about staying here?”

 

Luhan beamed.  “I’m sorry Chanyeol had to go, but I’m looking forward to spending more time here in Korea,” he said.  Sehun’s heart skipped a beat, but Luhan didn’t mention anything about himself. 

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Sehun whispered. 

 

“Let’s get bubble tea tomorrow,” Luhan whispered back.  “Just the two of us.”

 

Sehun’s heart filled with fireworks of joy.  “It’s a date,” he confirmed.  A gentle snore was his only reply.  Laughing quietly to himself, Sehun hopped out of the bed and maneuvered Luhan under the covers.  It had been a stressful week for all of them, but he was too keyed up to sleep.  He laid down only to end up tossing and turning for several minutes before giving up and getting back out of bed. 

 

When he reached the living room, he found Baekhyun staring at the television.  “Hey,” he said.  Baekhyun jumped.

 

“What are you still doing up?”

 

“I can’t sleep,” Sehun admitted.  “Luhan and I are going out tomorrow, just the two of us.”  He tried, but couldn’t keep the sappy smile off his face.  It wasn’t until he saw Baekhyun flinch and look away, his breath hitching, that he remembered his newfound happiness came at the cost of Baekhyun’s.  “Hey, I’m sorry,” Sehun muttered.  “I forgot, this isn’t a good thing for you.”

 

“No, maybe it is,” Baekhyun said, his voice frosty.  “He’s a liar and a backstabber, and I’m happier without him.”

 

Sehun blinked, taken aback by the venomous tone of Baekhyun’s words.   “But what did he do that was so bad?” Cautiously, he crossed the room and sat next to Baekhyun, kneading his thigh.  Baekhyun hung his head.

 

“Broke a sincere promise to me,” he said.  “He promised – he wouldn’t do something,” he continued.  “But then he did it anyway.  And then he didn’t even apologise for it.  And I just got really mad at him and said some terrible things.”   The stony look faded from his face as the full impact of his reality began to sink in.  “And now he’s going away,” Baekhyun said.  “And I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”

 

Sehun found himself with his arms full of the crying singer, and awkwardly held him, crooning under his breath as he stroked Baekhyun’s hair and let him cry himself out.  Motion caught his attention from across the room, and he saw Suho standing there watching them. 

 

“I’ll get some tea,” Suho said quietly, and left the doorway.  Baekhyun calmed down after a few minutes, sipping his tea without speaking. 

 

*

 

The next morning, Luhan woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, and Sehun felt like he’d been hit by a truck.  He didn’t want to go anywhere, but he didn’t want to break his date with Luhan either, and took a long, hot shower to try to get himself back to normal.  Baekhyun’s uncharacteristic outbursts were taking a toll on him, he noticed, peering at the dark shadows under his eyes in the mirror.  He was starting to look as old as he felt.

 

Then he reminded himself that he had Luhan all to himself for six months and smiled, chasing the shadows out of his eyes. 

 

 _Baekhyun and Chanyeol will work themselves out,_ Sehun told himself confidently.  _They always do._


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

**Let’s remove the space between me and you  
Now rock your body  
Damn I like the way that you move  
So give it to me  
(Enrique Iglesias – Tonight I’m Loving You)**

 

Sehun spent the next couple of weeks floating in a haze of sheer bliss.  Luhan was a joy to be around, and his                 quick-witted comments had the entire team laughing, even Baekhyun – sometimes.  Luhan had agreed to sleep in the same bed, which wasn’t entirely what he wanted from the other singer, but was a lot more than he’d ever gotten before, and Sehun was absolutely thrilled with his entire life.  Really, his only remaining problem was how unhappy Baekhyun was.  After the first week of the shakeup, Baekhyun seemed to pull himself out of his moodiness, but Sehun could tell it was still bothering him.  Every attempt to get information out of him failed, although Sehun realized Luhan had had more luck one night when they were lying tangled together in bed.  The feeling of Luhan’s muscular, lithe dancers body pressed all along his own was making him lightheaded.

 

 

“Baekhyun thought Tao and Chanyeol were together,” Luhan said, snickering.  It jarred Sehun out of the daydream he’d been entertaining, of flipping Luhan over, pressing him down into the bed, and kissing him until neither of them could breathe properly…

 

 

“What?” Sehun asked, suddenly realizing that he’d heard Luhan’s voice but not taken in the words. 

 

“Baekhyun,” Luhan repeated, shaking his head.  “He thought Chanyeol and Tao were together.”

 

Sehun worked through this slowly.  “They’re not, are they?”  It was obvious where the idea had come from; Tao was always hovering over Chanyeol, especially when something was going wrong.  The fact that something seemed to be going wrong every other day just heightened the impression.  Luhan laughed, and Sehun’s skin tingled. 

 

“Of course not.  I don’t know why you all have this idea in your head.  Tao is completely devoted to Kris.”

 

“Kinda like how I’m completely devoted to you, huh?”

 

The moment the words were out, Sehun wished he could stuff them back into his mouth and swallow them forever, but he’d still only been half-listening, half caught in his fantasy, and they’d slipped past his tongue without stopping to get permission from his brain.  Luhan stiffened, and Sehun regretted every single choice that had brought him to this point in his life. He was sure Luhan was going to pull away, disgusted, and declare that he’d never thought of Sehun as anything but a friend, and this was going too far, and –

 

“Yeah.  Of course, I might be a little bit devoted to you, also.”

 

Sehun twisted until he could look Luhan in the face.  A faint pink tinge dusted his cheeks, and he was staring at the ceiling, refusing to make eye contact.  Sehun’s mouth moved soundlessly, but no other words came out. 

 

Finally, he found his voice again.  “You – you mean it?”

 

“Yeah,” Luhan said after a long pause.  “Yeah, I do.”  He grinned boyishly, and then reached up to snag Sehun’s hair, pulling him close.  “What, you’re complaining?”

 

He didn’t give Sehun a chance to refute the accusation, and kissed him solidly.  Sehun felt his brain short out at the feeling of Luhan’s lips beneath his own, and practically melted.  Sparks were flying through his veins, and even as every other part of him was loose and boneless, his dick took the rest of his blood and swelled inside his loose pajama pants.  The feeling of his erection pressing against Luhan’s thigh was enough to make him whimper. 

 

Luhan laughed darkly, and slid his knee up so that Sehun’s legs were spread, his hips pressed against Luhan’s.  Another helpless noise tore its way out of his throat, and he found his hips pushing forward. 

 

“Lu- Lu – “

 

“Shh.  Keep it down.  I don’t want anyone else barging in here, okay?”

 

Sehun bit down on his tongue as Luhan’s hips rose up to meet his, one hand still grasping Sehun’s hair while the other braced him against the mattress and gave him leverage.  Sehun felt like his body had been taken over – no signals to move were getting out of his brain, and the only things coming in were the feelings of Luhan getting hard, his breathing getting shallower.  Sehun couldn’t even muster a response when Luhan pushed him over, following immediately and sinking back down on top of him so that their hips met again.  Gripping Luhan’s shoulders, Sehun could only lie there helplessly while Luhan mercilessly drove him towards orgasm by rubbing against him.  He swallowed Sehun’s moan of pleasure in another kiss, and shuddered through his own climax silently. 

 

Breathing hard, Luhan flopped down beside Sehun and grinned.  “That felt nice,” he commented.  Sehun could only nod helplessly.

 

*

 

Nearly a week passed, and they still hadn’t gotten around to taking their clothes off.  Having discovered how wonderful it could be to have someone else getting him off, especially when that person was Luhan, Sehun couldn’t get enough of him.  Luhan didn’t help, acting like a terrible tease, especially when they were in public.  All it took was one quick glance at Sehun’s jeans, and Sehun had to hurriedly hide himself before anyone else noticed.  Meals were the worst; sitting down together, where a table provided cover for a wandering hand to slip into his lap…  Sehun was simultaneously in heaven and hell, because he’d dreamed of having Luhan’s hands all over him for years, but he couldn’t let the others know by crawling into Luhan’s lap at the dinner table. 

 

Suho cleared his throat, making Sehun jump and quickly check to see if anyone was watching them.  Luhan gave his thigh a squeeze, but didn’t remove his hand.  “I got a call from our managers earlier,” Suho announced, looking at all of them in turn.  “We’re going to China!”

 

Luhan let out a whoop, and Sehun found a palm planted firmly on the zipper of his jeans, pressing down once, quickly, before Luhan stood up and started dancing.  The gasp it drew from him brought Baekhyun’s attention, and Sehun realized how tired Baekhyun looked.  For a moment, he felt guilty; he was happily sleeping with Luhan every night, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol still hadn’t worked out whatever was wrong between them.  Kyungsoo, Kai, and Suho were discussing the logistics of the trip, Luhan was extolling the virtues of a particular restaurant they all needed to visit when they got there, and Sehun was arrested by the haunted look on Baekhyun’s face. 

 

_I really hope Luhan and I can be happy forever; not like Baekhyun and Chanyeol._

 

He immediately felt guilty for the thought, but then Luhan yanked him out of the chair and swung him around, full of joy at returning to his home, and Sehun didn’t have any more time for thinking and being serious.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

 

**It’s a cruel world for small things  
But with lies and luxuries  
In the in-between  
You can be happy  
(IAMX – You Can Be Happy)**

 

Gathered outside the door, the current Exo-K was trying to figure out whether or not they should knock or barge in.  Baekhyun, to Sehun’s private amusement, lost the battle with patience and finally stepped forward to bang on the door.  Someone called out from inside, and the door swung open to reveal a broadly smiling Chanyeol. 

 

Standing off to one side, Sehun was clearly able to see Chanyeol’s expression freeze and crack at the sight of Baekhyun, and Baekhyun’s own expression shutter and darken at the sight of Chanyeol apparently doing so well.  It was replaced so quickly with an equally bright smile that for a moment, Sehun doubted what he’d seen.  A quick look at Luhan confirmed it, though, as Luhan was looking between the two of them with concern.  An eternity stretched on in silence, and then Baekhyun broke it with a greeting.  Chanyeol nearly staggered back, and Sehun resolved to talk to him before the night was out.  Before anyone could say anything else, Chanyeol was gone, and Kris was there, warmly smiling at everyone. 

 

“Is everything okay?  Come on inside, don’t just stand there.  Luhan, why are you still outside?” 

 

The group filtered into the apartment and began to catch up, everyone trying to talk over one another.  Sehun watched Baekhyun’s gaze slide to the hallway where the bedrooms were, and jerk back, only to slip back towards Chanyeol’s direction.  Sehun was about to say something to him when Chanyeol crept back into the room, looking like a whipped dog.  A shaft of ice pierced his heart momentarily, and Sehun automatically sought Luhan’s hand, holding it lightly.  _Nothing like that is going to happen to us,_ he told himself forcefully.  Luhan squeezed, and then let go in order to thump Xiumin on the back, enveloping Chen in a hug.  Lyrical Chinese flowed out of the three of them, and Sehun marveled at how smart they all were.  _I should learn Chinese, too,_ he thought, and then happened to find a book on Beginner’s Mandarin in Korean sitting right beside the couch.  He guessed it was Chanyeol’s, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to start reading it. 

 

*

 

Later that night, Sehun caught Chanyeol alone in the kitchen.  “What’s wrong with you?” Sehun asked bluntly.  He winced silently when he saw the look on Chanyeol’s face, and then tried to soften it.  “You just… you don’t look like it’s been good for you, being here.”

 

Chanyeol shrugged and then flinched.  “It’s been hard.  I’m having a good time, though.” 

 

Sehun stared at him until Chanyeol looked away. 

 

“Okay, I’m a fucking idiot, I miss understanding the news, and Mandarin Chinese is a bitch to learn, but really, I’m not that bad.” 

 

Sehun could clearly tell that Chanyeol was holding something back, but this was a more complete, more honest answer.  “Keeping busy?”

 

Chanyeol laughed heartily.  “The learning never stops.  Chen and Xiumin have had several years to learn, and they got formal lessons.  Apparently we’re all getting formal lessons, soon, in Japanese, too.  So, tell me.  Did you and Luhan work things out between you?”

 

Although it wasn’t subtle, Sehun completely let himself be swept away in the change of subject.  He couldn’t help himself, especially after the cherry red heat took over his face, and Chanyeol leaned in conspiratorially to ask him for details.  When Chanyeol’s laugh came out freely and uninhibited, just like it used to, Sehun really began to relax and think that perhaps being in China _was_ doing some good things for him after all.  Maybe he’d come here and swap someone else out when the first six months were up.

 

*

 

Over the course of the next several days, Sehun realized how Chanyeol had manipulated him, and began to grow concerned, particularly when he saw how Chanyeol reacted whenever Baekhyun was within sight of him.  It was sheer chance that he happened to overhear the conversation that made everything start to make sense. 

 

Kai, Kyungsoo, Lay, and Chen were sitting around the kitchen table, speaking in hushed tones. 

 

“No one will tell me where he keeps going,” Kai was saying.  “I don’t remember him being this secretive before, either, but it’s like Kris goes mute whenever I ask him.”

 

“I asked Tao,” Chen said.  “It’s some sort of club, but who would have thought Chanyeol would be the type?”

 

“Does he come back drunk a lot?” Kyungsoo asked.  “What kind of club?  Is he doing drugs?”

 

Standing on the other side of the nearly-shut door, Sehun couldn’t see their faces, but he felt another shock of ice go through him at the thought.  _He seems sick, he goes out a lot – is he on drugs?  He’s going to get himself thrown in prison!_

 

“I’ve never seen him drink,” Lay said quietly. 

 

“Or drunk,” Chen added.  “He doesn’t even drink with us when we bring something home.  We all got tested a few weeks ago, so it’s not drugs, either.  It seems like he’s doing something physical, so maybe he just goes to a gym?”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Sehun jumped so violently at the sudden voice by his ear that he accidentally jostled the door, pushing it further open.  Immediately, the hushed tone of the conversation changed, as if they’d been having a normal discussion, and Chen even started in the middle of a sentence to further the cover.

 

“And then I went, ‘No way!’ and he chugged the whole soda!”  The other three laughed, but Sehun could hear that it was forced.  The cause of the interruption, Chanyeol himself, was looking at Sehun like he’d grown a second head. 

 

“Can we talk?”

 

Chanyeol looked resigned, but jerked his head in the direction of the hallway.  “Let’s have some real privacy, eh?” he suggested.  Sehun’s face flamed. 

 

With the bedroom door firmly shut, Sehun looked at Chanyeol and tried to figure out what had changed about him.  He was always skinny, but now his clothes hung on him like they’d been borrowed from someone larger.  His eyes were sunken, his cheeks pale, and there was a listless quality about the way he moved.  “Whatever you’re doing, it’s not good,” Sehun said.  Bitterness swept over Chanyeol’s face. 

 

He shrugged.  “It helps me get by.”

 

“You’re not …doing drugs, are you?  Drinking?” Sehun forced the words out, and was relieved to see real amusement on Chanyeol’s face. 

 

“It’s nothing bad, nothing illegal,” he said.  “I promise.”

 

“You’re not yourself, though,” Sehun said, trying to find the words to express himself.  It was almost like the fire had gone out from inside him, but Sehun felt like that would be a ridiculous analogy, given their ‘powers’ as Exo.  “Something – something’s almost missing,” Sehun said, still struggling.

 

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said hollowly.  “Don’t fall in love, Sehun.  It only breaks your heart.”

 

He clapped Sehun on the shoulder and moved past him and out the door.  Sehun watched him go, dodging Baekhyun as if he wasn’t there, and noted how Baekhyun’s eyes followed him all the way down the hallway and lingered even after he’d disappeared into the main living room.  After a moment, Baekhyun looked at Sehun and their eyes met and held for a long moment before Baekhyun turned on his heel and followed Chanyeol out. 

 

The next morning, there was no sign of Chanyeol, even when everyone else gathered to send them off before they went back to Korea.  Whatever had gone on between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, Sehun didn’t think anything had been resolved.  He took comfort in the way Luhan’s fingers twined with his own in the back of the cab on the way to the airport. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four**

 

**Who is the man I see  
Where I’m supposed to be?  
I lost my heart, I buried it too deep  
Under the iron sea  
(Keane – Crystal Ball)**

 

They went back a second time almost a month later, and Chanyeol looked worse than ever.  Sehun wanted to cry at the look on his face when he saw Baekhyun – it just didn’t seem fair to be so happy, when his teammates were so miserable.  But Luhan was by his side, and he’d promised something extra special for this return trip that he wouldn’t explain further.  Sehun felt himself being pulled in two directions, between joy with Luhan and concern for Baekhyun.  Chanyeol looked thinner than ever, and even Baekhyun was losing weight. 

 

Later that evening, the tension between Chanyeol and Baekhyun was thick enough to cut with a knife.  Sehun couldn’t take it anymore and finally retreated to the bedroom he was sharing with Luhan.  Sitting on the edge of the bed, he hung his head in his hands and tried to figure out what to do with the mess he found himself in. 

 

_Don’t fall in love, Sehun. It only breaks your heart._

 

Chanyeol’s earlier words to him echoed through his mind, and he forcefully shoved them away.  He’d been in love with Luhan since the very first time they met, and Luhan, far from breaking his heart, had only gotten better and better.  They’d gone from teammates to best friends to lovers – _And look how well that turned out for Chanyeol and Baekhyun,_ his treacherous mind interjected – and there was no sign of anything happening to come between them. 

 

The door opening and closing quietly drew his attention, and he looked up to find the object of his musing in the room with him, as if summoned by thoughts.  Sehun smiled in spite of himself, happy to see Luhan no matter what the circumstances. 

 

“Everything okay?” Luhan asked, and Sehun’s smile widened.

 

“Better now you’re here,” he said, and started to get up.

 

“Stay where you are,” Luhan commanded suddenly.  Sehun froze, and sank back to the mattress.  “I think I promised you something, right?”

 

Sehun remembered the sly teasing –

 

_“Later, I’ll give you a special surprise.”_

 

_“Like what?”_

 

_“If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise!”_

 

“Are you going to tell me now?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Luhan crossed the room in three strides, and then knelt down in front of Sehun, positioning himself between Sehun’s knees.  “If I tell you, it won’t be a surprise,” he murmured, and leaned up to kiss the younger man.  Sehun sank into it, enjoying Luhan’s agile tongue as it darted around his mouth, feeling the shape of his teeth and dueling briefly with Sehun’s.  The touch on his knees startled him into pulling back, and he found Luhan looking up at him with that devilish grin back in place.  Sehun’s heart leapt up into his throat, fluttering wildly, as Luhan pushed his hands up Sehun’s thighs.  He’d done this several times, usually somewhere public where Sehun couldn’t do anything about it, but now they were alone in the bedroom, and Luhan wasn’t stopping at his thighs. 

 

“Lu –” Sehun started, and Luhan silenced him with another kiss, working deftly at the button on his jeans.  Desire flooded his veins as Sehun realized what Luhan was doing, and then conscious thought fled as Luhan reached into his pants and began touching him.  He’d yearned and dreamed and _wished_ for this to happen for _so long_ …

 

“Lift your hips,” Luhan murmured, and Sehun obeyed without even registering the words, feeling Luhan tug his boxers and jeans down to mid-thigh, just far enough to expose his hardening length to the cool air.  Sehun gasped for breath, and watched with mesmerized fascination as Luhan lowered his head.  His hair brushed the head of Sehun’s dick, which swelled and twitched at the light stimulation, and Sehun lost all ability to breathe when Luhan bent further and pressed a kiss to the head.  He followed it up with a brief exhalation, and then sucked in a deep breath before taking Sehun into his mouth and _Oh, god, his mouth was so hot_ , so wet, so _good._

 

Sehun let out a strangled noise.  Luhan’s hands touched his, then grasped his wrists, pinning them to his side as he tentatively licked.  The feeling of Luhan’s tongue on his dick was almost more than Sehun could take.  Luhan pulled back, took in Sehun’s glassy eyes and parted lips, then ducked down and began licking him in earnest, pressing kisses to various places.  Pleasure shot like lightning through Sehun’s entire body, and his breathing was ragged and harsh in his own ears.  With another breathless noise, he felt his orgasm sweep through him, leaving him wrung out and empty.  When he looked, he saw Luhan licking his lips thoughtfully, and the sight of it was almost enough to set him on fire. 

 

“What do you think?” Luhan asked coyly.  “Not bad for my first time, huh?”

 

Wordless, Sehun shook his head, and pulled Luhan up beside him, hugging him tightly.  “That – that was –”

 

“Shh,” Luhan said, and stroked his fingers through Sehun’s hair.  The motion was soothing, and gradually his pulse returned to normal as his heart found its regular place in his chest.  Before long, Sehun fell asleep, and didn’t even notice when Luhan laid him gently down on the bed and covered him up before withdrawing.

 

*

 

Sehun woke up the next day tangled with another body.  He felt awkward and a little sore, and couldn’t figure out why until memory rushed back and he remembered Luhan kneeling in front of him.  It wasn’t what he’d always thought a blowjob should be, since Luhan didn’t really suck him as much as lick and kiss, but just the feeling of Luhan’s mouth and tongue and lips –

 

He was getting hard just thinking about it, and pried his eyes open to find Luhan sprawled over him, fast asleep.  Sehun grinned as he realized Luhan was only wearing a pair of loose cotton pants, and he wiggled slightly until he could feel Luhan’s legs.  As carefully as he could, Sehun cupped Luhan and then began rubbing him through the cotton.  Luhan stirred, but didn’t wake up, and Sehun was thrilled to feel him getting hard. 

 

“Mm, Se…”

 

Sehun froze, thinking Luhan was awake, but a quick glance proved that he was just talking in his sleep.  Murmured Chinese spilled out, completely unintelligible, but encouraging nonetheless.  Moving carefully, Sehun maneuvered them until Luhan was mostly on his back, and then shimmied down his body. 

 

 _If Luhan can do it, so can I,_ Sehun said to himself, staring at the tent in Luhan’s pajama pants with some apprehension.  With a deep breath, he carefully slid the pants out of the way, watching carefully to make sure Luhan didn’t wake up.  A gentle snore greeted him, and Sehun grinned before turning himself to the task.

 

Recalling what Luhan had done to him, Sehun started with a quick kiss to the tip before opening his mouth wide and taking Luhan into his mouth.  A sharp groan and a gasp, and Sehun looked up to see Luhan looking back at him, surprise clear on his face.  Sehun swallowed his nervousness, and moved his tongue out to taste.  It tasted like skin and sweat, but the smell of it, soap and salt and something uniquely Luhan was like an aphrodisiac.  The full-length shudder that rippled through Luhan’s body was exciting, too, and Sehun opened his mouth further, trying to see how much of Luhan he could take in at one time.  Coordinating his tongue with the movements of his head while trying to remember to keep his teeth out of the way was decidedly less sexy than he’d ever imagined, but the sound of Luhan gasping quietly with every move he made was more than enough to make up for it. 

 

It seemed to take forever before Luhan was coming, and Sehun had a split second to decide if he was going to try to swallow it before it was flooding his mouth and he had no other choice.  Luhan lay on the bed limply, breathing hard, and Sehun felt pleased with himself.  It wasn’t the first time they’d gotten each other off, but it was the first time either of them had done more than use their hands.  Sehun returned to Luhan’s side, and Luhan grinned.

 

“Hell of a way to wake up,” he murmured. 

 

“Had to return the favor,” Sehun said, and Luhan laughed, pouncing on him and shoving a hand into Sehun’s pants. 

 

“Already hard?” Luhan asked, but Sehun couldn’t answer because Luhan had wrapped a hand around him and was jerking him off in quick, short movements that were almost at the border of being painful.  Sehun twisted and arched his back, not even sure if he was trying to get away or get closer.  The pleasure didn’t come slowly; this time it built up in quick bursts with every move of Luhan’s fingers , agilely twisting around even as the up-and-down motion continued.  Sehun squeezed his eyes closed as his climax tore through him, shuddering against Luhan’s body and emptying himself into Luhan’s hand. 

 

“We gotta wash now,” Luhan said, pushing himself up with his other hand.  Sehun waved him off. 

 

“I don’t think I’m ever getting out of this bed,” he said.  Someone knocked on the door and called out in Chinese.  Luhan answered in kind, and after wiping his hand off on a shirt from the laundry basket, left Sehun lying where he was. 

 

 _Luhan will never break my heart,_ Sehun decided.

 

*

 

 

 Sehun couldn’t get enough of Luhan’s body.  Now that they’d taken the next step, it was all he could think about, and even Baekhyun’s broken-puppy expression had stopped bothering him as much.  He felt like he was the happiest man alive and nothing and no one could take his good mood away.  And Luhan was always up for it, no matter if it was six in the morning or six in the evening, when Sehun indicated that he was ready, Luhan was willing. 

 

_Has anyone ever had such a perfect life?_

 

*

 

It lasted less than two months.  There were no warning signs, which is what made it all the worse when Sehun found out.  They were at a party for one of the other artists, and Luhan had left him to mingle.  Kyungsoo sat with him, since he was deemed too young to drink, and Kyungsoo wasn’t interested in making a fool of himself in public, and together they watched the rest of their labelmates having a good time and at least in Baekhyun and Kai’s case, getting spectacularly drunk.  Kyungsoo kept making noises in the back of his throat, and Sehun finally got tired of hearing it.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Kyungsoo sniffed.  “I can’t believe he’s doing this,” he said.

 

Sehun was baffled.  “Who?  Doing what?  What?”

 

“Kai,” was the answer.  Sehun craned his neck, and saw Kai on the dance floor, a drink in one hand while he was grinding up against another singer and using his other hand to hold them even closer.  Sehun’s eyebrows nearly met his hairline. 

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“Some new girl group,” Kyungsoo sniffed.  Sehun could detect the undertones, and realized that Kyungsoo was not only unhappy, but bordering on rage.  He didn’t want to be around when Kai came back, and quickly excused himself.  Now with nothing to do, Sehun went in search of Luhan.  Music pounded through the speakers, thumping through his bones.  It was making him dizzy, so he almost overlooked his bandmate when he finally found him.  When he did a double take and recognized him, Sehun would have given anything to have never seen what was in front of him. 

 

Luhan was pressing someone up against the wall, someone with their leg wrapped around his waist.  In the flashing of the overhead strobe lights, he couldn’t make out the features, only that the leg was too small and too smooth to be anything but female.  As he drew closer, almost in a trance, Sehun could see the details that would burn themselves into the backs of his eyes for the rest of his life.  Luhan’s pants were undone – the girls skirt was hiked up around her waist – they were too close, much too close – they were –

 

“Fucking…?”  Was Luhan just playing with him?  Cheating on him?  Baekhyun had accused Chanyeol of cheating, he knew that much, but he also knew Chanyeol would have killed himself before cheating on Baekhyun, no matter what their situation.  But Luhan was fucking some _girl_ right in the _middle of the club,_ in plain view of anyone who might wander past, and Sehun couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  Someone bumped into him with a slurred apology, and ripped Sehun’s eyes off the unbelievable scene.  Baekhyun, red in the face and clearly three sheets to the wind, grinned at him. 

 

“Heyah Sehunnie,” he said cheerfully.  Sehun didn’t know what expression was on his face, but it was enough to pierce the alcoholic fog in Baekhyun’s brain and a look of alarm passed over his features.  “Sehun, what’s wro –”

 

He’d seen it, too.  Sehun, unable to look back, watched Baekhyun’s mouth fall open in shock, and the look of incredulous sadness that took over his face, and knew that he wasn’t imagining things, that Luhan was really fucking a girl less than twenty feet away from him. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

[TW from here on out: Drug Use]

 

**Part Five**

 

**They say that true love hurts  
Well this could almost kill me  
Young love murder,  
That is what this must be  
I would give it all to not be sleeping alone  
(Ke$ha – The Harold Song)**

 

“I have to –”

 

Sehun couldn’t finish the sentence, didn’t even know what he was going to say.  He pushed past Baekhyun, and started running, not caring who he was running into, not even noticing the faces of the others as he passed them by.  Suddenly he was outside, and it was raining, but he didn’t stop.  He turned left and kept going, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. 

 

Lights blurred, cars rumbled, and Sehun was blind and deaf to everything but the sight of Luhan, locked in an embrace with someone else – and not just another person, but a girl – _I didn’t think he’d go gay for me, but I thought we were at least exclusive, and would it have hurt this much if he was fucking some other guy?_

 

Sehun crashed into another body and went spinning, but was caught before he fell. 

 

“Whoa, you okay?”

 

Belatedly, Sehun realized there were tears streaming down his face.  “My – my boyfriend is cheating on me,” he gasped out, and wrenched himself from the other person’s grasp.  He didn’t get very far, though; his legs gave out, and he sank to the wet ground, uncaring that his jeans were getting soaked. 

 

“Fuck that sucks,” came the easy answer.  “You gonna be okay?”

 

Sehun sucked in a breath, feeling like all the oxygen was gone from the world, and shook his head. 

 

“You can’t stay out here, it’s freezing,” the man said.  Sehun saw a hand reach out for him, and followed it up the arm to the gently smiling face above him.  “Come on in, I’ll get you something that’ll make it feel better.” 

 

Careless, hurt, and half out of his mind with disbelief and shock, Sehun accepted the hand offered by the stranger, and found another hand offering a small brown bottle. 

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Little of this, little of that,” the stranger said.  “It’ll make you numb.  Want it?”

 

Sehun didn’t hesitate, taking the bottle and wrenching the cap off before swallowing the single pill it contained.  “Heh.”  He understood Chanyeol’s need to run away whenever he saw Baekhyun, and he couldn’t help but think of the warning.  “Never fall in love, Sehun,” he said, brokenly.  “It’ll only break your heart.”

 

*

 

Somehow he found himself indoors, another club with pounding music.  This wasn’t the peppy pop from the other one, though it was thick and heavy and syrupy through his veins.  His head felt fuzzy, and his pain was gratifyingly far away.  Rolling to the beat, Sehun found someone next to him – the man who’d given him the pill. 

 

“I’m Sehun,” he said.  “Thanks.”

 

“I’m Joonhyun,” came the reply.  “I can keep you hooked up, but you’ll have to pay for the next one.” 

 

Sehun never wanted this easy, loose feeling to leave.  “I – ”

 

“Can you dance?”

 

Sehun laughed.  Apparently he wasn’t as famous as he thought.  “Yeah,” he said.  “I can dance.”

 

“Get up there, then,” Joonhyun said, and pushed him towards a stage in the middle of the room.  People made way for him, and Sehun found himself the center of attention.  The music was still hot and heavy, and his nerves were tingling from whatever he’d taken.  He took a moment to feel the beat, and then slowly drew his hands up over his hips, stomach chest, lifting his shirt and then throwing himself into the moves, feeling the music like it was moving with him. 

 

When the song ended, every eye in the room was on him, and Sehun had never felt better. 

 

“That earns you a week’s supply,” Joonhyun said, hopping up on the stage beside him.  In the dim light, Joonhyun wasn’t that bad looking. 

 

“Thanks,” Sehun said, and accepted the proffered bottle.  “So I guess I’ll be back?”

 

“I guess you will,” Joonhyun said with a laugh. 

 

*

 

When he got back to the dorm, the lights were off and it seemed like no one was home.  Sehun checked his phone, and realized he had about fifteen missed calls from everyone.  With the drug still coiling through his blood, Sehun laughed it off, sent out a mass text to say he was home and going to bed, and then shut his phone off, locking the door behind him. 

 

At some time later, he was roused by someone pounding on the door, demanding to be let in, but he simply rolled over and went back to sleep. 

 

When he finally woke up, his head was clear, and his chest felt like someone had stabbed him through the heart.  Sehun lay in bed and wondered why he was alone for a moment before he remembered everything that had happened the night before.  A ragged gasp tore its way out of his throat when he recalled what he’d seen, and he almost started crying again.  With a deep breath, he managed to get himself under control and found the bottle of pills underneath his pillow.  Without stopping to think about what he was doing, he popped the cap off and spilled them into his palm.  Seven pills, enough for one a day if Joonhyun was to be believed.  He could remember how wonderful he’d felt after taking it last night, like everything was melting away, and nothing mattered. 

 

_What am I doing?_

 

Trembling, Sehun picked out one of the tablets and brought it to his mouth.  _Am I really…?_

 

A glimpse of himself in the mirror revealed a ragged, tear-stained face surrounded with shaggy, unkempt hair.  _I don’t want to feel like this anymore,_ he decided, and deliberately put the pill into his mouth and swallowed it. 

 

Whatever it was took effect marvelously fast.  Not even five minutes had passed before the comfortable fog had settled around him, and everything felt far away again.  Smiling, Sehun brushed his hair, wiped his face, and stepped out of his room.

 

He immediately tripped over someone lying in the hallway, and swore gently.  But even the pain of hitting the ground was numbed, and he laughed to himself. 

 

“Sehun!  Why was the door locked?  Where did you go last night?”

 

Luhan’s voice was warm and concerned, and there was no hint of guilt or even apology.  Sehun sat up and looked at him.  Somewhere far away, his heart was beating itself into pieces, but he couldn’t feel it.  “Sorry you were too busy to notice me,” Sehun said calmly.  Luhan looked like he’d been slapped. 

 

“What?  What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Sehun had a moment of doubt – the club had been dark, and the strobe lights weren’t great – but then he noticed the darkening bruise on Luhan’s neck, right around the place the girl had put her lips, and the tousled mess that was his hair where she’d run her hands through it.  And he was still wearing the same clothes – there was no mistaking that.  “Have a good time?” Sehun asked, proud that his voice didn’t shake.  “It sure looked like you were enjoying her.”

 

Luhan turned white.  It only served to make the bruise on his neck stand out further, and Sehun scowled, pushing himself to his feet.  “Fuck,” Luhan whispered.  He rubbed his neck, winced, and looked surprised as he touched that spot again.  Sehun turned around, unwilling to watch Luhan rediscovering the souvenir she’d left him, and found Baekhyun in the kitchen, clearly nursing a hangover.

 

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asked.

 

“I was just about to ask you that,” Sehun replied easily.  “You look like shit.”

 

“I feel like shit,” Baekhyun said.  “Never let me drink again.  Luhan was so drunk last night he couldn’t even get the door open, so he just slept in the hallway.”

 

Did neither of them remember it?  Sehun lifted his chin into the air.  “Being drunk excuses it, huh?”

 

“Excuses wha-”

 

Sehun could see the exact moment Baekhyun recalled what he’d seen.  “Oh, _shit_.  Shit, are you okay?”

 

Sehun laughed at his panicked concern.  “I’m great,” he said, and meant it. 

 

And he’d do whatever it took to keep feeling like this, too.   

 

*

 

Luhan sat in the hallway in front of the bedroom door he had, up until recently, shared with Sehun, and tried to figure out what he could have done last night to get this kind of reaction out of the younger singer.  Most of the night was a complete blank after he started drinking.  He’d foolishly tried to match shots with Baekhyun and Kai, just to prove he could, and that was the last clear thing he could recall.  The more he struggled to remember, the more pieces started coming back.  The flashing lights, seeing Sehun with Kyungsoo, dancing with Baekhyun just because he was drunk and not unhappy for once, and then being introduced to a girl…

 

 _The girl,_ he thought.  There was something there, even though he couldn’t even remember her name.  Prodding at the sore spot on his neck, he wondered when he’d let Sehun leave a hickey on him, and couldn’t remember even kissing him yesterday.  It was going to be a pain in the ass to cover with makeup, and it hurt whenever he moved his head.  And _why_ had Sehun locked him out? 

 

There was a mystery here somewhere, but he couldn’t remember anything else, and his head was pounding. 

 

Wandering into the kitchen, he found Kyungsoo over the stove, and Baekhyun clearly nursing a hangover at the table.  “You look like I feel,” he informed Baekhyun.  A filthy glare was his only reaction, and Luhan was taken aback by the vitriol in Baekhyun’s eyes.  “What?”

 

“What did you do?”

 

Luhan raised his hands defensively.  “I don’t remember.  Why?”

 

Baekhyun put his head in his hands.  Kyungsoo was conspicuously stirring loudly, obviously trying not to eavesdrop.  Luhan settled into another chair, snagging Baekhyun’s water glass and chugging it. 

 

“All I saw was you with some girl,” Baekhyun said, and Luhan spit the water out all over the table.  Memory returned in a rush and he could feel his face drain of blood. 

 

“Fuck,” he said.

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agreed, taking his cup back and pushing away from the table.  “Sehun saw you, too.”

 

The room swam around him and for a moment, Luhan thought he was going to pass out.  Breathing shallowly through his nose, Luhan masochistically reviewed everything he could remember, and wondered what Sehun had seen – and more importantly, what Sehun was thinking about it.  He’d clearly been unhappy enough last night to lock the bedroom door, but he’d come out of the room this morning laughing, almost like his old self. 

 

 _I met the group, and Jaehee immediately started flirting with me,_ Luhan remembered.  _She said she wasn’t wearing any underwear.  Fuck, why did I drink so much?_

 

She hadn’t been, either, and Luhan could clearly remember the teasing dare that they wouldn’t get caught.  _“Come on, we’re both SM artists, it’s not like I’m going to blab to the news.”_

 

It had seemed harmless at the time – some fun with a willing partner, the thrill of being in public urging him on – and he wondered what he’d been drinking to make him forget his brain at the door.  He’d been in love with Sehun almost from the very beginning, but the other singer’s age had kept him from acting on it.  When they were split up into two groups and Luhan was sent away, he figured that would be the end of it, but over the years, Sehun’s persistent advances had worn down his resolve to keep things professional. 

 

Now he’d really fucked things up, though.  He’d never felt worse in his life, about anything. 

 

“Are you done?”

 

Luhan jumped at the dark tone in Kyungsoo’s voice. 

 

“We’ve already been through this with Baekhyun and Chanyeol for the last several months,” Kyungsoo said, glowering darkly at him.  “They’re going to break us up if we can’t keep it together.”

 

No more Exo?  No more Sehun, Kai, Chen, Lay, and all the rest of them…? Because of him?

 

“I’ve got to go apologize,” Luhan said, and nearly knocked the chair over he stood up so fast.  Sehun was in the living room, watching Kai flipping channels.  “Sehun, can I talk to you?”

 

Sehun looked up grinning.  There was something manic and not altogether normal about the expression, but it was almost a relief that he wasn’t sulking, crying, or worse.  “Sure thing.  What’s up?”

 

Sehun practically bounced out of the chair and followed Luhan back into their bedroom.  “Oh look,” he said.  “A bed.  I guess we never actually needed one of those, though.”

 

The words hit Luhan like bullets, and he physically flinched away from Sehun.  “I – Sehun, I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?”

 

Sehun looked genuinely confused, and for a moment, Luhan thought he was imagining things.  Still, even if Sehun _hadn’t_ seen anything, it was better to get it all out in the open now and have the argument before it got any worse. 

 

“I…fucked up last night,” Luhan started, groping for words.

 

“That was her name?  Weird.” 

 

Luhan staggered backwards.  _Sehun knew?_   And he was acting like this?  “What?  No, I don’t know what her name was.  Jaehee something.  Maybe.”  His head was about to split open, his chest ached dully, and Sehun hadn’t stopped smiling the whole time they’d been in here.  

 

“Oh, good.  So, next time you need a warm body for your dick, you can just go find someone else.  Baekhyun is available, you know,” Sehun said, his words viciously at odds with the cheerful grin on his face.  Luhan choked.  “At least you know his name, right?  And mine?  Anyway, whatever.  It was fun, right?”

 

He hopped off the bed, patted Luhan’s shoulder, and left the room whistling.  Luhan hit the ground hard enough to rattle his teeth, and tried to figure out what had gone so wrong in his life. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Six**

 

**What if it makes you sad at me  
And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep  
And what if it takes your breath and you can’t hardly breathe  
And what if it makes the last sound the very best sound  
(SafetySuit – What If)**

 

Sehun had started going out every few nights, and gave evasive answers.  Baekhyun cornered him one morning, and tried to ask him where he was going, but Sehun laughed it off.  The new, perpetually cheerful Sehun was baffling to everyone, especially now that Luhan had been shuffled into the room with Baekhyun while Suho moved his suicide watch over to Sehun, and he had no idea what was going on with either of them anymore.  Luhan was perpetually miserable, which Baekhyun seemed to quietly welcome, and Sehun had turned into a manic pixie. 

 

Suho gathered three of them, minus Baekhyun, who was wrapped up in his lyrics, and Sehun, who’d gone out again, and told them the other half of their group would be coming to visit tomorrow. 

 

“I don’t want Baekhyun to know because, well… him and Chanyeol still haven’t worked anything out.” 

 

“Wouldn’t it be better to give him some warning?” Kai asked.  Luhan was continually surprised; Kai seemed like a careless playboy, but beneath the front he put up in front of fans and everyone else, there was a shrewdly calculating mind at work.  Suho shook his head. 

 

“I want to see how he’s going to react.  Now, Luhan, you and Sehun…”

 

Everyone’s eyes turned to him, and Luhan wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. 

 

“What happened between you two, anyway?” Kai asked.  Luhan gaped; he hadn’t realized everyone didn’t already know.  And he wasn’t willing to explain it.  Kyungsoo leaned over and whispered something – all Luhan could hear was his own name and the words “some girl.”  He could guess well enough what was being said, and hunched his shoulders, especially when Kai glared at him.  

 

“How could you – ”

 

Suho cut him off.  “Now’s not the time.  Sehun seems to be doing okay, and Luhan – ”

 

Luhan sank down further in his chair, really wishing he could just go back in time and _not_ go to the party. 

 

“Luhan’s guilty, but not broken,” Suho finished.   “We need to figure out what to do with the ones who are actually falling apart.” 

 

For some reason, this made him feel even worse.  Sehun barely spoke to him anymore, and was always brimming with energy.  There was something wrong, though; Luhan had been watching him long enough from a distance to realize this, and he was worried that no one else seemed to see it.  They were all grateful Sehun wasn’t falling apart like Baekhyun was, and didn’t care to look any further into it. 

 

Luhan resolved to follow him soon, and find out what he was doing when he left the house so often.  In the back of his mind, he was aware that this was the reason Chanyeol and Baekhyun had started having their troubles, but Luhan figured things couldn’t get any worse than they already were.

 

*

 

When Chanyeol and Sehun didn’t waste any time leaving after their brief reunion, Luhan locked gazes with Baekhyun and almost by tacit agreement, they both rose from their seats and headed out after them.  The others watched the two pairs leave without comment.  Luhan had no idea where Chanyeol was going, but Baekhyun seemed to, and he heartily hoped they would work things out between them.  Sehun was his main concern; no one had _any_ idea what he was doing, only that he usually came home and fell asleep fully clothed, if he bothered to sleep at all.  Multiple times, Luhan had gotten up in the middle of the night, only to find Sehun sitting in the living room, flipping channels or tossing a ball back and forth restlessly.  He insisted it was simply a sleepless night, but there was _something_ wrong, and tonight, Luhan was going to find out what it was. 

 

*

 

Sehun let himself in through the side door, and found Joonhyun waiting with the bottle in hand. 

 

“I figured you’d be here tonight,” he said.  “I got you something that’ll make you feel good, if you want it.”

 

Sehun accepted without comment, immediately twisting the top off the bottle and fishing the pill out.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said.  Joonhyun ruffled his hair. 

 

“Just get up there and dance, kid,” he said. 

 

As Sehun made his way through the club, the drug began working its way through his system.  He’d flatly refused anything inhaled, smoked, or injected; he didn’t need any visible habits.  It was getting hard enough to keep the bottles out of Joonmyeon’s sight as it was. 

 

He felt deliciously sexy, almost horny, and swung up onto the stage just as the music changed.  It was some American Industrial song, hot and heavy, just the way he was feeling, and Sehun started dancing, feeling the music like a drug, pushing him higher and higher.  A familiar face in the crowd nearly threw him off his rhythm, but instead, he used it, making his body into the invitation he’d never had the guts to present before.  With too many conflicting chemicals coursing through him, Sehun wasn’t even surprised at the sight of Luhan in his club.  It did give him a wicked idea, though. 

 

There was no one there he wanted to sleep with _except_ Luhan, and Luhan had made it incredibly clear that there was no room in his bed for Sehun.  When he climbed off the stage, he went in search of Joonhyun. 

 

“I want something subtle,” he said languidly.  Joonhyun asked no questions, simply rooting around in his pockets, choosing and discarding various bottles and vials. 

 

“I’m guessing you saw someone pretty tonight?” Joonhyun asked finally. 

 

“The prettiest,” Sehun informed him, accepting the little bottle Joonhyun revealed. 

 

“Put this in the drink,” Joonhyun said.  “Half if you want to tease them, the whole thing if you want them sweating and panting for you.”

 

Sehun didn’t ask any questions, either.  He pocketed the vial, and went to the bar to pick up a couple of drinks.  Luhan found him there shortly afterward, and Sehun motioned towards a recently vacated table. 

 

“What are you doing?” Luhan asked, practically shouting to be heard over the pounding music. 

 

“Dancing,” Sehun said.  “It’s a lot better than hanging around the dorm being miserable.”

 

Luhan flinched, and Sehun almost felt guilty.  Then he remembered his plan, and offered the glass with the added drug to Luhan. 

 

“Sorry,” Luhan said.  “I’m really sorry.  Can’t you forgive me?” He took a sip of the drink, realized it was just a soda, and then practically gulped it. 

 

“I already have,” Sehun assured him.  He couldn’t stop smiling.  Now that Luhan had taken the bait, he didn’t know if he should leave him here, make him watch while Sehun fucked some random stranger, or just take him into the bathroom and finally finish their relationship off right.  They’d never made it to fucking, after all, and then Luhan had to go and stick his dick in some chick. 

 

Luhan looked like he was about to cry.  “Then why won’t you talk to me anymore? I miss you.”

 

“I don’t have anything to say.  Anyway, it’s not like we promised we’d be exclusive, right?”

 

“I can’t explain,” Luhan said.  “I was drunk, it was stupid, I regret it.”  His pupils were dilated, nearly turning his eyes black.  Sehun watched the drug slowly take hold of him, watched the flush creep up his neck and his lips part as his breathing became unsteady.  Boldly, in a way he never could have been before he’d found his own chemical helpers, Sehun reached into Luhan’s lap and found him hard.  Luhan moaned, inaudibly in the loud club.  Sehun only knew because he recognized that look on Luhan’s face.  Smiling still, he led Luhan away from the table and into a dark corner. 

 

“I don’t need an explanation,” Sehun said, pushing him into the wall.  “I just need you.”

 

“Yes,” Luhan breathed, reaching for him.  Sehun nuzzled his neck, inhaling the scent of him, almost forgotten in the weeks that they’d been separated.  Luhan moaned again, thrusting his hips against Sehun’s.  “Fuck, I fuck – I _want,_ ” Luhan said, his voice breaking over the words. 

 

“Here?” Sehun asked, cupping Luhan through his jeans.  Luhan shuddered, and Sehun reveled in it.  He felt powerful and sexy, and nothing like the shy little virgin he’d been when Luhan had first started fooling around with him. 

 

“Anywhere,” Luhan said, clutching at him. 

 

“Not here,” Sehun decided.  “I don’t care what kind of exhibitionist tendencies you’ve got, I work here.”  Ignoring Luhan’s curious look, Sehun continued massaging his dick through his jeans, enjoying the sight of Luhan falling apart in front of him.  _Joonhyun wasn’t kidding._   Luhan had never been this demonstrative before, never been this loud, this loose.  It had always felt like he was holding part of himself back, but now, Sehun was in control, Sehun was the one holding back, while Luhan was practically whimpering, writhing against the wall where Sehun had him pinned.

 

“Anywhere,” Luhan moaned again, his hips thrusting into Sehun’s hand.  “God fuck, I feel – fuck – I’m so horny, Sehun.” 

 

Sehun felt a thrill up his spine.  Luhan had never talked to him like this before.  Sliding one hand into Luhan’s pants, he wrapped his hand around the base of Luhan’s dick and gave him a quick squeeze, drawing another moan out of him.  Using his grip on Luhan’s cock like a leash, Sehun lead him away from the wall and towards the bathroom.  Luhan stumbled and staggered, whimpering helplessly.  When they were safely in one of the stalls, Sehun nearly tore his own pants, trying to get them out of the way.  He was feeling it from the music and the new thing Joonhyun had given him, and the sight of Luhan practically begging was undoing him before he’d even gotten started. 

 

“I want you to fuck me up against the wall,” Sehun murmured.  Luhan nodded violently. 

 

The owners of the club had known things were going to happen in their restrooms, and thoughtfully provided several bottles of lube.  Sehun made use of one, slicking up Luhan’s dick as slowly as he could, watching him tremble and twitch.  He bent over, watching Luhan’s expression change, and then pulled back teasingly. 

 

“Maybe later,” he said, and then, bracing himself against the wall, he hooked one leg around Luhan’s waist, in a conscious imitation of the girl Luhan had fucked at the last club.  Luhan didn’t need any more prompting; after making sure there was enough lube spread around, he began pushing into Sehun’s body, guiding himself in with helpless little shudders.  It hurt more than Sehun had been expecting, but at the same time, the slow burn was delicious.  Heat pooled in his stomach as Luhan pushed in and paused. 

 

“Fuck, Sehun, you’re so tight,” Luhan whimpered. 

 

“Tighter than the slut you fucked?” Sehun didn’t know if he’d said the words out loud or only thought them, until Luhan laughed.

 

“So much tighter,” he said, and began to withdraw.  For a moment, Sehun thought he was going to pull out and stop, but then Luhan slammed forward, jerking Sehun up onto his toes.  His eyes rolled back as sensation flooded him, and it was all he could do to keep his balance, one hand gripping the top of the stall and the other tangled in Luhan’s hair.  A ragged noise tore its way out of him, urging Luhan on. 

 

Luhan kept one hand on his hip, holding him in place, and the other went to his neglected dick, jerking him off in quick motions Sehun remembered from the last time they’d been physical with one another.  He couldn’t stop himself from laughing; apparently Luhan got impatient when he was horny.  They were both grunting in time with the rhythm, Sehun’s voice coming breathy and high as Luhan pushed him towards orgasm. 

 

“I never thought it’d feel so good to get fucked,” Sehun laughed. 

 

Luhan grinned.  “I wouldn’t know.”

 

This was interesting.  “You’ve never been fucked?” Sehun asked, feeling drunk on pleasure and the control over Luhan he’d never had before. 

 

“Nope.  Never wanted to.  I guess it feels pretty good when I fuck you, though?” 

 

“How about I show you?” Sehun asked, pumping the lube bottle with one hand and rubbing his fingers together.  Before Luhan could figure that statement out, Sehun reached around him and pushed one lube-coated finger into his body.  Luhan jerked backwards so quickly he slipped free of Sehun’s body, leaving him feeling empty. 

 

“What are you doing?” Luhan demanded. 

 

“Turn around,” Sehun ordered, and didn’t wait for obedience.  Pushing Luhan up against the other wall, Sehun wriggled his finger around inside his body until Luhan let out a startled moan. 

 

“Fuck that – that feels good,” Luhan said, clearly surprised.  Sehun laughed. 

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, and pushed another finger inside, stroking until he could feel Luhan’s prostate through his inner walls.   Luhan whined, clawing at the wall.   “Ready?”

 

Not waiting for any response, Sehun added some lube from his own body to the head of his dick, and pulled his fingers out, positioning himself at Luhan’s entrance.  Luhan stiffened, so Sehun reached around and began jerking him off in languid, slow movements, waiting until he relaxed before pushing in.  The heat was immediately overwhelming, as was the tension in his body.  Luhan let out a noise that was more pained that pleased, and Sehun paused, fighting the instincts that told him to push in and in and in until they were one person.  He kept up the hand job, until Luhan was whimpering and writhing again, practically begging. 

 

“Fuck, I can’t -  can’t come, why –”  Sehun cut him off by pushing in fully, feeling Luhan’s body instinctively try to push him back out.  It was the most magical sensation he’d ever felt in his life. 

 

“F-fuck, Lu,” he gasped.  “You – you feel so good.” 

 

Luhan laughed breathlessly.  “I know.  I could fuck you forever,” he said. 

 

“So what was that girls name?”

 

“What girl?”

 

Sehun grinned victoriously, and turned them, pushing Luhan’s head down towards the toilet so that he was bent nearly in half while Sehun fucked him.  Luhan’s moans got louder and more desperate.  Sehun was pushing into him so fast that he felt like he was going to catch on fire, but his orgasm was coming up over him like a tidal wave and he couldn’t stop.  Spilling into Luhan with one final groan, Sehun nearly collapsed over him.  Luhan quivered.

 

“Fuck, let me do this to you,” he said.  Sehun laughed and turned around.  Luhan grabbed his ass in both hands, spreading him wide, before pushing into him again.  Sehun was sure he’d never come again, but as Luhan was thrusting, he found himself being stimulated, getting hard slowly and almost passionately.  The angle was pushing Luhan’s dick right across his prostate, and the extra sensation was making him weak-kneed.  “Fuck I want to come,” Luhan whimpered, pushing into him forcefully. 

 

“I think I’m about to,” Sehun gasped.  Luhan reached around and clamped a hand around the base of his dick, simultaneously stimulating him and cutting off sensations. 

 

“You’re not coming until I do,” Luhan said furiously.  It felt like hours passed before Luhan finally climaxed, leaving Sehun feeling completely wrung out.  He was sore in every part of his body, and redolent with the aftermath of overwhelming pleasure.

 

They washed off in the sink, pushed their clothes into place, and started back to the dorm, in complete charity with one another for the first time since the party.    


End file.
